She Told Me So (aka I Want Spike)

I write so much about Violet, you'd think we were married or something. Uhhhh...no. But I do keep a toothbrush in her bathroom.

For years now, I've been hearing about her obsession with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I've never gotten around to watching more than one or two episodes. Sure, they're good, campy, kick-ass fun, but I never got addicted. I did develop something of a soft spot for Angel, because the show played before Charmed during the days a few winters ago when I was trying to catch up on every episode of Charmed I'd never seen. (That was all of them. I'm a bigger geek than you ever imagined, huh?) So I would tune in a few minutes early, and catch Angel kicking some ass and then being all sweet and/or brooding. All I knew about him was that he was Buffy's love, but what I saw was him falling for Cordelia. Kim didn't want me to think of Angel as in love with Cordelia, because, clearly, he was Buffy's man...uh...vampire.

Last night I was in a dark mood. Not depressed. Just dark. As in, not sunny. As in, "Hey, let's plumb the deep recesses of Jill's psyche! Let's wander aimlessly uptown and figure out how we can turn my twisted imagination into some very penetrating art!" We did so for a few miles, then took the subway the rest of the way. Finally, after listening to some drunk abuse every man on the A train, and watching a tiny dog chase a rat as big as its head, we arrived at her apartment. We poured some iced tea and she told me "Okay, be quiet." Very few people get away with telling me to be quiet. Then she introduced me to Spike.

Oh.

My.

God.

Yeah, ok, I'll be quiet for him.

Somehow, in my fumbling with my words on the long hike home, I was able to convey to Kim exactly where my head was at. Or she was able to surmise it psychically. In three short scenes, this character catapulted straight to the top of my "Fictional Characters I Have Lusted After" list. Seriously, in a brawl, he would kick Hamlet's ass, hands tied behind his back. I like that. I really like that.

Yeah, yeah, I get it, he's not real.

But damn, if someone didn't pry into my subconscious one night to create him, then I don't know where he came from.

She told me so. But why did she hold out on me for so damn long?

And who else is holding out on me? If there are more of him out there, I want to know about it. Any suggestions?