Thursday, August 10, 2006

I believe it's called "I hope you know what you're missing and it haunts you all weekend."

reflection in the bathroom at work

Fair friends of the blogosphere, I need your commenting assistance. You know I don't ask for too much too often, so please donate a few seconds of your typing time in support of my cause.

I had some tentative plans for this evening.

But I was de-scheduled in favor of two Canadian guys.

(Now would be a good time to look at my cute outfit in the picture above, the most recent of my reflection shots, taken today at work.)

Far be it from me to begrudge anyone the opportunity to catch up with some old friends. I purposely had left the plans open and flexible due to mutual scheduling constraints. But what I want to know is--do you think the Canadian guys were wearing the denim mini-skirt and lacy tank top?

Hmmmmmmmmmmm...

I don't know what the fashions are up north at the moment, but I'm thinking that's a big fat "NO".

The de-scheduler in question will be leaving town next week and has possibly given up his last opportunity to spend some quality time with The Jills.

I told The Silly De-scheduler that I would unleash my entire blog-contact list on him. I'm sure you all know what I'm asking.

Please comment.

Let him know what he missed.

And make him regret it for

a.

very.

long.

time.


Now, The Jills may have some time open early next week, but...

I think I've made enough phone calls for this week, don't you?


This is a very friendly post, and The Jills are not bitter at all, and The Really Silly Silly Silly De-scheduler will definitely read your comments. The Jills just want to have some fun with this. So, help me enjoy this, please?

Otherwise, the highlight of my day will be walking to the bus stop in the pouring rain, without an umbrella.

Did you get that mental image?

Excellent.

So let him have it, blogiverse!

68 Comments:

  • He knows what he is missing, I bet he is even thinking about it while with his mates...but isn;t that the point...he's missing out...

    but so are you... ~grin~

    By Blogger Indiana, At Thu Aug 10, 09:24:00 PM 2006  

  • all you damned aussie boys stick together.

    By Blogger Jill, At Thu Aug 10, 09:47:00 PM 2006  

  • Mystery Guy:

    WTF? This is a smart attractive lady who acutally wants to see you. YOU! Take a moment to hang you head in shame.

    Now that you have let that sink in, recognize this is a woman for whom men break type. If you like blondes, well, you like at least one redhead. Get the idea?

    Now apologize.

    GSR

    By Blogger Grad School Reject, At Thu Aug 10, 10:45:00 PM 2006  

  • You're being silly, Jill. What good is it to leave blog comments for a blind man? He can't read them, right? Think about it.

    He IS blind, right? I mean, I guess I'm just assuming he must be blind.

    Hmmm, maybe he's just dumb. Dumb people can read, I guess. Just in case:

    Hey, dummy, open your eyes. (If you're actually blind I really apologize for that.) (Oh, wait. You can't see it if you are.) (Never mind.)

    Hello, Dummy.

    Hello, Jill.

    P.S. - Yes, I DO know that blind people can access the Internet and I apologize for anyone victimized by my apparent ignorance. Please, let's forget about how stupid I am and focus on the dummy at hand. Thanks.

    By Blogger scott, At Thu Aug 10, 11:00:00 PM 2006  

  • Sometimes, boys can be really dumb. You're not dumb and you're cute. He'll realize what a silly he's being.

    By Blogger Momentary Academic, At Thu Aug 10, 11:14:00 PM 2006  

  • Jill I swear I didn't know he was an Aussie, I have been more than a little out of the loop lately...

    ...of course he is an idiot to not go out with a mini skirt lace wearing diva like yourself. ~grin~

    By Blogger Indiana, At Thu Aug 10, 11:20:00 PM 2006  

  • Dude, I wouldn't trade a date out with Jill for a whole army of Candadians.

    Not only that, but you missed out on seeing her in THAT OUTFIT, soaking wet.

    You seriously must be an idiot.

    By Blogger Sarah, At Thu Aug 10, 11:31:00 PM 2006  

  • Gaaaaaaaaaaaa! That's all that is needed.

    By Blogger The Grunt, At Thu Aug 10, 11:54:00 PM 2006  

  • GSR: You sweet thing!

    Scott, I think you're right. He must be blind. Because if he actually saw what I was wearing when we met, there probably wouldn't be a scheduling issue at all. ;)

    Is that domain name taken, do you think, M.A.? Otherwise, we could start a fabulous website. Boysaredumb (dot) whatever.

    Don't worry, Indy, there's been no loop to be left out of. I just disclosed that because I thought it was ironic that you were the first to comment. It's like you have a sixth sense.

    Dude, you see that, I even have awesomely cool chicks like Sarah clamoring for time with me. And she can tell you how much fun I am after I've had a few drinks. And fake tattoos!

    Very eloquent, as usual, Grunt.

    By Blogger Jill, At Fri Aug 11, 12:49:00 AM 2006  

  • Since you have some free time then, how about some karaoke. Private karaoke. I heard the way to your heart was a killer cover of inxs ;)

    By Anonymous burn4you, At Fri Aug 11, 12:54:00 AM 2006  

  • uh... who told you that?

    and can i kiss them?

    By Blogger Jill, At Fri Aug 11, 12:59:00 AM 2006  

  • I know Jill... I know...

    And you can kiss anything you like. ;)

    By Anonymous burn4you, At Fri Aug 11, 01:29:00 AM 2006  

  • The only excuse I can think of, Mr. Aussie Dumb Guy, is that you felt that looking at the girl in that outfit all night long would have driven you so uncontrollably crazy that you would have gone home in a blue-balled fit of temporary insanity and done mean things to the neighbor's cat with a fork.

    And so you took the safe way out and decided to hang out with two Canadian dudes in flannel and touks, figuring that hearing "eh?" 27 times per minute would be less maddening than having a vision such as The Jills in front of you all night long.

    Otherwise, you're just a big dum-dum poopoo-head.

    Oh... and Jill? I need you tonight... cuz I'm not sleepin'. There's something about you, girl, that makes me sweat.

    So how do you feel?

    By Blogger The Chronic Curmudgeon, At Fri Aug 11, 01:39:00 AM 2006  

  • How do I feel? Let's see... I have two guys offering to do their best Michael Hutchence for me... (at least I'm assuming burn4you is a guy...) I'm feeling pretty good right about now.

    burn4you... so that's all the hints you're going to give me, huh?

    Mudge, thanks for the vehemence... but *whispering* you're going to scare off the boy. *returning to normal tone of voice* Though I always admire your feisty posts. And uh... yeah, can you sing another verse?

    By Blogger Jill, At Fri Aug 11, 01:50:00 AM 2006  

  • Okay, so he's not a dum-dum poopoo-head.

    So slide over here, and give me a moment. Your moves are so raw... I've got to let you know. I've got to let you know... you're one of my kind.

    By Blogger The Chronic Curmudgeon, At Fri Aug 11, 01:55:00 AM 2006  

  • to person in question,

    the fact that you've stood jill up and she still wants to see you can only mean that you are twice the man i could ever be. i imagine that if i were to ever stand her up, even for something so inocuous as ice cream, she would cut her ties to me forever.

    i tip my hat to you, sir!

    By Blogger ducklet, At Fri Aug 11, 01:58:00 AM 2006  

  • Mudge: Maybe that domain is open.

    Boysaredumdumpoopooheads [dot] whatever

    Yeah, uh...gulp I think I have to go to bed now.

    Gosh, Ducky, that whole "standing me up for ice cream" thing sounds vaguely familiar... now that it's coming back to me, I seem to recall that I quickly got over it because there was this hot chick who was totally distracting me that night. Actually, more than one. Oh, there might have been a guy or two. Let's see, the charming Brit plying me with shots, and that other guy... There was another guy there, wasn't there?

    By Blogger Jill, At Fri Aug 11, 02:07:00 AM 2006  

  • You are correct, Jill. I am a man. And I don't need to check. ;)

    By Anonymous burn4you, At Fri Aug 11, 02:11:00 AM 2006  

  • can't see the skirt so this isn't really a well informed opinion, but my schedule is open until early October.

    By Blogger treespotter, At Fri Aug 11, 05:24:00 AM 2006  

  • This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger meekon5, At Fri Aug 11, 07:10:00 AM 2006  

  • Sorry that should have read:

    Surely this is just "treat them mean and keep them keen!" I think he may have you twisted round his little finger. He de-scheduled you yet you are still wanting to be with him. See he gets to to go out with his mates and you are left to pine alone (or with the blogosphere). I must admit I personally would rather be spending my time with you than with some hairy assed Canadians but each to their own.

    By Blogger meekon5, At Fri Aug 11, 07:12:00 AM 2006  

  • burn4you, I'll believe you, but you're a few verses behind. I think you'd better start singing... or think of something better...?

    Unfortunately, Treespotter, I'm actually busy until early October. Festival season means work every day.

    You have some good concepts there, Meekon, but you are forgetting two major points.

    1.) The blogosphere just gives the impression that I am here continuously. I reside in cyberspace, but I am still somewhere in the real world--and you have no idea where, or with whom... This is my blog I'm commenting on, so that means my sitemeter. No IPs for you to read...

    2.) Did you miss the part where he's leaving next week? Isn't that just a terrible shame? Because, really, if there is any quality time to be had, it almost certainly would be brief. 'Tis a far far different experience than having a girl keep her evening open for you... Don't you agree?

    By Blogger Jill, At Fri Aug 11, 08:27:00 AM 2006  

  • But then as I intimated at the end of my comment, more fool him. Also I take on your point about us not existing in cyberspace all the time. No matter how many little widgets I’m running here no one really knows when and where I will post from next (least of all me most of the time). But then you did spend the time to write this post, personally I would have gone off and had some drinks with some friends that did care and sod the individual in question. Then read how much time I spend whingeing about the injustices in my life on my own blog. :)

    By Blogger meekon5, At Fri Aug 11, 08:42:00 AM 2006  

  • Jr. You absolutely have no clue. If I could express to you the magnitude of your mistake then you would understand. But I can't. You have to trust me on this one. I have insider trading knowledge. It would be unethical to share, so I'll hint.

    I don't care if your estranged mother is going to be in town for this one night alone and you have to see her to reconcile. Tell her you'll catch up to her at Christmas. Go be with the Jill's.

    If you have one ticket to go see Beethoven who has been miraculously raised from the dead for one show only, and Elvis is opening for him. Sell the ticket and take the Jill's someplace nice. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Forget about Beethoven and Elvis.

    If you know that the winning lottery ticket is going to be sold from a certain store in Hoboken at 12:25 am and you have to be there to buy it and win the 120 Million dollar powerball - well, load the Jills up in a cab and head to Hoboken. But you need to spend as much time with the Jill's as possible. . . . that's a lottery winner in itself.

    Ok, Jill. . . I did what I can do.

    By Blogger Spaceman Spiff, At Fri Aug 11, 08:52:00 AM 2006  

  • He baled on you to catch up with two guys! Is he gay, blind or just stupid? Next time you call me instead Jill, give me an extra hours notice though airport lines are a bitch right now!

    By Blogger Croaker, At Fri Aug 11, 09:07:00 AM 2006  

  • Meekon, truly it is okay. The post took five minutes or thereabouts to write, I have plenty of friends, all of whom care, and there have been plenty of drinks this week. The individual in question is in no way malicious and the post is all in good fun. He just, maybe, needs to have a bit of salt rubbed into his over-booked calendar.

    Pretty convincing, Spiffy. It makes me want to break plans and hang out with me. Would you like to be my agent?

    I'm just going to go with well-meaning on that one, Croaker. And thanks for the offer.

    By Blogger Jill, At Fri Aug 11, 09:50:00 AM 2006  

  • Dear DeScheduler,

    I have not met Jill yet. Only because of distance issues. However, I know that the next time I'm in NYC, I'm making it a point to meet up with her. Heck I would take the time to stalk her down if that was the only way to make it happen. She'd be worth it.

    Dear Jill,

    Do you always refer to yourself in pluralistic terms? Or is there a second contributing Jill on this site I am not aware of?

    By Blogger kapgar, At Fri Aug 11, 10:04:00 AM 2006  

  • big dum-dum poopoo-head. i likes it.

    and i agree with it too.

    By Blogger kat, At Fri Aug 11, 10:33:00 AM 2006  

  • Oh Jill -- I had this EXACT same thing happen to me. My de-scheduler canceled at 3:30 on the day we were supposed to do something because he too is leaving town and that particular day "might be the last time" he saw one of his poker buddies. Little did he know at the time that he had crossed the last line with me. He told me to pick a day for us to hang out, but I've just been TOO busy.

    So. Now that I've made this comment all about ME, I say this -- Jill's de-scheduler? It's a sad day for you whe you choose your boys over Jill.

    By Blogger Amber, At Fri Aug 11, 11:41:00 AM 2006  

  • It is unfathomomomable that he would not rather spend time with you, alone, that with two smelly canucks. No offense to the Canadian fellas, I'm sure they are cool, probably don't smell bad, but I'll tell you what I do know. They don't smell or look as good as the Jill's. And, if the right Jill comes along for the evening, you never know what might happen. How can a guy possibly pass up this opportunity. Moron.

    Jill, I could be a great agent for you, except I would feel like a pimp. And I don't have any platform shoes, a brightly colored suit or a fedora hat with an ostrich plume to wear, so I guess that's out.

    If you need a good word or a "hey, dude, what the hell are you thinking, open your eyes and see Valhalla. I mean, Vikings sailed the treacherous northern seas in search of this. This is woman! Come on man! Get your head out of your ass! Man up!"
    then I'm your guy.

    He obviously doesn't understand the Man code. It clearly states that if you have a viable opportunity to score, you can dump your buddies in a snake filled swamp and they have to be ok with it. Viable is a very loose interpretation. Hell, it could be a first date and you can still ditch your buddies. You can always ditch your buddies for a date, you can't ditch to chase a chick, but for a set date, game on. I hate when a guy doesn't know the rules.

    By Blogger Spaceman Spiff, At Fri Aug 11, 11:45:00 AM 2006  

  • Oh, and I'm listening to INXS right now. To be followed by a favorites selection of U2. Sorry about your Ipod. Pttttttbbbbbb! (that would be me being 6 and giving you a rasberry. . . don't know why. . . thought it'd be funny)

    By Blogger Spaceman Spiff, At Fri Aug 11, 11:53:00 AM 2006  

  • He meant no harm. Having a penis makes boys do silly things some times. When he takes a look at the ass of each Canadian boy he'll realize he'd much rather be staring at yours.

    By Blogger Megan, At Fri Aug 11, 12:22:00 PM 2006  

  • Love the title..what the photo doesnt say it does.

    By Blogger Buffy, At Fri Aug 11, 01:15:00 PM 2006  

  • Kapgar, thank you for your words of support. Regarding the multi-Jill thing, it's something like the difference between Kevin and Kapgar.com, but not exactly. Take a look at the posts under Cast of Characters.

    Kat, I thought you might enjoy that!

    You tell 'im, Amber! It's okay; you can make my posts about you anytime. That's what friends are for.

    Spiffy, I thought the pimp thing too, after I wrote that. But let's not give away my virtue quite so quickly, okay? I have a reputation to uphold here.

    P.S. Never joke about the iPod. Didn't you read my first draft?

    That's another great domain. Penisequalssilly [dot] whatever. Great idea, Megan!

    Thanks, Buffy. I do strive to ensure that my posts and my photos are complementary.

    By Blogger Jill, At Fri Aug 11, 01:54:00 PM 2006  

  • He missed being with beauty and brains.

    He missed being with talent and wit.

    He missed hearing fully articulated sentences and seeing sexy shoes.

    He missed cleavage and conviviality.

    I think those Canadians fed him some poutine that was "off."

    http://users.waymark.net/davidtx/
    poutine.jpg

    By Blogger Washington Cube, At Fri Aug 11, 03:30:00 PM 2006  

  • My guess is that he'd be too busy looking at the pic to even read the comments.

    Speaking of, why am I wasting time...

    By Blogger Peter DeWolf, At Fri Aug 11, 06:29:00 PM 2006  

  • Fuckwit.

    By Blogger Brookelina, At Fri Aug 11, 08:31:00 PM 2006  

  • I can officially say that someone is seriously missing out... WTF! (If only he knew, what I know!)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, At Fri Aug 11, 08:40:00 PM 2006  

  • Wow, Washington Cube, great job!

    Interesting that you would think that, Peter. I'm not a guy, so what do I know about these things?

    That gets right to the point, Brooke. But what about "geographically undesirable fuckwit"? ;)

    Sorry, Silly De-Scheduling DumDum Boy, you know I don't mean that.

    You don't fool me, Anonymous. I know your secret superhero identity...

    Whoops. I'm the superhero. Not you. Duh.

    By Blogger Jill, At Sat Aug 12, 12:01:00 AM 2006  

  • What a toolbag.

    By Blogger Shafa, At Sun Aug 13, 12:06:00 AM 2006  

  • Some people have no sense of priority. Dates with the Jills are like royal flushes, nothing beats'em.

    By Blogger Dustin, At Sun Aug 13, 12:23:00 AM 2006  

  • The Jills or Deux Gars canadiens? That is a tough choice...UNLESS YOU'VE GOT A BRAIN!

    Since most Canadians can also speak french or were at least forced to learn it in secondary school (thanks to the province of Quebec), your friends should teach you the phrase "Vous avez baisé en haut". It applies in this case.

    By Blogger Corey, At Sun Aug 13, 11:25:00 AM 2006  

  • Shafa, an actual toolbag? Not just a tool?

    Yay Dustin! I don't think I've ever been compared to a poker hand before. That I'm aware of. That's a first.

    Corey, that appears to be some sort of idiomatic phrase that I don't quite know the meaning of. I don't know much French, but I know all those words individually... but I think I can surmise the gist. So thanks.

    By Blogger Jill, At Sun Aug 13, 11:53:00 AM 2006  

  • I read in "Worldwide Cop Fashion" magazine yesterday that "denim mini-skirt and lacy tank top" is the new formal uniform for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

    So it couldn't have been that.

    By Blogger Wombat, At Sun Aug 13, 12:09:00 PM 2006  

  • Oh, then maybe... he doesn't like curvy bodies in the mini-skirts and lacy tank tops? He'd prefer angular? You think?

    By Blogger Jill, At Sun Aug 13, 03:38:00 PM 2006  

  • Jill, the Canadians may have, in fact, been wearing your exact outfit, because, after all, they are *Canadian* and who can ever figure them out, eh? But, I doubt they had your legs in the mini-skirts. Probably not even a reasonable facsimile of your legs. Certainly, they couldn't have had your your smile. Or your dreamy eyes. *ahem*

    Sorry, I drifted a bit there. No, if he doesn't know what he was missing and his time in your neck of the woods is short, he wasn't worthy of your time and attention to beging with.
    And, what's with all the other ladies in the blogosphere getting "rescheduled"? Where *I* come from, it's the drinking buddies that get scheduled in around the ladies with whom lasting bonds have yet to be forged. Y'all come down to Houston for some Southern hospitality and a Texas-sized good time any time your little hearts are achin'. Your Uncle Jim will show you a good time and has a wide open schedule.
    At least, for y'all he does. ;)

    By Anonymous Network Geek, At Sun Aug 13, 05:59:00 PM 2006  

  • Thanks, Jim! That's so kind of you. I don't think the issue is him not knowing what he was missing... but I'm not going to write another thing about that. Silly boy. Ya'll are silly.

    By Blogger Jill, At Sun Aug 13, 08:18:00 PM 2006  

  • Canada?

    Canada, I'm convinced, is a complete fabrication even though I live right on her border.

    Think of it: We drive no Canadian cars, never use Canadian computers and I have never, ever eaten at a Canadian restaraunt.

    I mean, even Yugoslavia cowboyed up enough to make a car.

    This fella obviously just choked and needed a little more time to get his pecs and conversation-lull starters perfected.

    He complimented you Galaxies, Jill The Thrill...

    By Blogger Rocket Surgeon, Phd, At Mon Aug 14, 08:22:00 AM 2006  

  • Well, I have met people who claim to be from Canada. Entire theater companies, in fact. Does that mean they aren't really producing; they're just fabricating good press from fictional publications? That would be awesome.

    By Blogger Jill, At Mon Aug 14, 08:27:00 AM 2006  

  • I love the word "curvy".

    Amazing that it is only one letter removed from "scurvy" which isn't in my Top 30.

    By Blogger Wombat, At Mon Aug 14, 09:35:00 AM 2006  

  • Wombat made me snort. I don't think I have ever snorted before. I am slightly embarrassed yet also intrigued and amused at the snort. Vitamin C deficiencies are no laughing matter, or snorting for that matter.

    Curvy is the best word ever, well, maybe right after naked. Naked is better than curvy. And it is only 3 letter off from Nekkid which is a southern term and a lot more fun than just naked.

    By Blogger Spaceman Spiff, At Mon Aug 14, 10:08:00 AM 2006  

  • Yeah, Wombat... scurvy, not so fun.

    Spiffy, there's something better than naked?!?! Do tell!

    By Blogger Jill, At Mon Aug 14, 10:17:00 AM 2006  

  • I certainly can't speak for Spiff, who's more than proven the ability to articulate his own thoughts eloquently. But my own thoughts are these:

    Nekkid is much more fun than naked. Naked could be an model at an art school class... naked could be an emotional state... naked is how we're born. When you get spanked when you're naked, it's either to make you take a breath or because you're being punished.

    Nekkid, however, happens only when we're planning on using the parts we don't show off in school (well, most of us, anyway). Nekkid is sweat, is a lick of the lips, is breathing in the scent of your partner from their skin. Nekkid is that moment when coy becomes overt. Nekkid is when the touches are no longer fleeting. Spanking nekkid has a whole different meaning.

    You get caught naked coming out of the shower sometimes. Someone only sees you nekkid if they're about to make you very, very happy.

    At least I think that's the difference. Spiff, a little help?

    By Blogger The Chronic Curmudgeon, At Mon Aug 14, 11:19:00 AM 2006  

  • Thanks, Mudge. I was already running late on getting into the city. Now I think I need to take a cold shower before I can leave the house. Grrrrr... ;)

    By Blogger Jill, At Mon Aug 14, 11:22:00 AM 2006  

  • Nekkid is more fun than nay-ked?

    Spiffster, fortify yourself with some OJ and expand.

    Don't expand yourself, although too much OJ will do that despite pre-empting scurvy, but expand your nekkid > naked theory.

    Thnx.

    By Blogger Wombat, At Mon Aug 14, 11:44:00 AM 2006  

  • Nekkid is naked with intent. Or, so I'm told, being pure, sweet and innocent myself, I wouldn't actually know.

    Watch out for Canada. They're massing on the border, ready to swoop down in a lightning-like invasion on a moment's notice. 90% of them live within 10 miles of the US border!

    And, Jill, it's "y'all", which is a contraction of "you" and "all". Most correctly used to refer to a group of people, as in "Y'all are the cutest bunch of female-type bloggers I've ever read about having men trouble." (Obviously, refering to you and your female fans who are having trouble with the less-fair sex that strains my sense of all that is right in the universe.)

    By Anonymous Network Geek, At Mon Aug 14, 06:09:00 PM 2006  

  • Does this mini-skirt make me look fat?

    By Anonymous Canadian Bacon, At Mon Aug 14, 08:42:00 PM 2006  

  • I'm with Wombat. I want to hear Spiffy expand on nekkid. Not that Mudge didn't do a damn good job. But, you know, the more men writing hot stuff for me to read...

    Geek, did you just write an entire paragraph because I accidentally inserted my apostrophe in the wrong place?

    Oh, that sounded dirty. Don't insert your apostrophe there!

    I know what y'all is!

    Canadian Bacon, I wouldn't know. Post a picture and I'll tell you.

    By Blogger Jill, At Tue Aug 15, 01:37:00 AM 2006  

  • Uh, yeah, I guess I did, Jill. Sorry, 'bout that. I got a lecture on "y'all" once when I mistakenly misplaced the apostrophe.
    But, what do I know? I'm just a damn Yankee carpetbagger down in the South to steal their money and their wimmin'!

    By Anonymous Network Geek, At Tue Aug 15, 07:55:00 AM 2006  

  • Well, it is a true statement that Naked and Nekkid are refering to the same state of attire. But that is about all for similarities. For the benefit of Wombat, Jill and the rest of the bl**iverse I will expand on Mudge's and Network Geek's explanations, and clarify a misconception or two.

    Naked : to be unclothed, nude or without adequate cover. This refers to either a state of being, as in having no clothes on, or a state of mind as in feeling like you were totally unprepared for the given situation. "I had to get naked and put on a stupid paper gown for the examination" and "I felt like I was naked in the mall the day after Thanksgiving when I had to give that speech" are typical sentences that use naked. This is a very common and plain word. It is never an action word, only used as a descriptor. Boring!

    Nekkid on the other hand is both desriptive and action oriented. Typical sentences range from "There I was, nekkid and with a plastic sword, three pounds of chocolate sprinkles, and a feather duster when Bobbie-Sue came in from the her shift at the diner" to "there was this crazy scream and histerical laughter from around the corner, and all of a sudden these three teenagers came barelling around the corner chasing what appeared to be a nude scarecrow wearing a tiger's head. Only when they got close enough for my bifocals to shift did I realize that it was four teenagers, nekkid and smeared in bacon grease and whipped cream running hell bent for destinations unknown while singing the High School Alma Mater. And one was wearing Old Stuffy the Tiger's head. Believe you me, the principal of that school has lost control."

    The origin of the word is from the Pig-latin for Ekkid-ne which, roughly translated, means to be naked with mischievous intent. In all actuallity, you may not be entirely un-clothed. For instance, you may be streaking about the neighborhood in tennis shoes and a fedora (90% of the body's heat escapes through the head so the fedora prevents the flu and you want to reach an adequate speed to minimize bouncing and/or flopping, so you need shoes). If you do this, then you are not naked, you are nekkid. This illustrates the thought and planning that leads you to become nekkid.

    A more accurate definition is to be naked, for all intents and purposes, with mischief or other hijinks in mind. For example, If you are planning on having sexual intercourse, you may or may not be naked. Maybe you are cold and keep your socks on, or maybe you are a porn star and must wear your hi heels. You are naked (for all intents) but you have not achieved a state of nekkidness because the mischief is not involved. If you are planning on getting your freak on, then you are most assuredly nekkid because you may be in an elevator, some form of public transportation, or other wildly inappropriate location to be engaging in the act you are engaging in.

    Nekkid entails a sense of adventure and/or danger and the possibility of arrest and incarceration. It could also include the loss of all social and/or familial ties with the "older generation" if they ctch you. The intent is often lost on the uninvolved parties until after the nekkid event is over, even then the intent may not be known. If you are caught being nekkid, you then become naked because the hijinks are over.

    If you found a romantic and secluded rendesvous for a late night tryst with your sweety, then you get naked and make love. If you have found a corner of the student section of the football stadium that is mostly obscurred from sight and get your drunken sorority girlfriend to stip down and give you a hummer, then she is nekkid and even though you may be mostly clothed you are nekkid too.

    Everyone has been naked at some point in their lives. Only the fun people have ever been nekkid. Naked is a state of being, Nekkid is a way of life.

    "Carpe Diem" does not actually mean to sieze the day. It really means to get nekkid. Hope that clears it up a little.

    By Blogger Spaceman Spiff, At Tue Aug 15, 01:39:00 PM 2006  

  • OMFG, you are cute. Your wuss-out friend is a fool. I wouldn't stand you up.

    By Blogger Ethan, At Wed Aug 16, 07:28:00 PM 2006  

  • Dude (addressing the stand-'er-up guy):

    The mental image of Jill walking to the bus stop in the pouring rain wearing a hot outfit, without an umbrella is totally not hot.

    Please stand her up again at the earliest opportunity.

    By Blogger D to tha L I C T, At Wed Aug 16, 11:56:00 PM 2006  

  • Va va voooom.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, At Thu Aug 17, 02:45:00 AM 2006  

  • You deserve a Nekkid PhD Spiffmeister.

    Bravo.

    Where does Bobbie Sue work again?

    By Blogger Wombat, At Fri Aug 18, 12:18:00 PM 2006  

  • Until now, I thought I was relatively anonymous, but I'm feeling a little nervous now that people know all about my hairy ass and mini-skirt fetish.

    Mr. Re-scheduler, may your head spontaneously don a "touk" as unflattering as my own.

    Canadianly yours,

    By Anonymous peefer, At Fri Aug 18, 04:05:00 PM 2006  

  • Ok, Geek, I was just confirming.

    Wow, Spiffy, that was comprehensive! I don't think I could do justice to that. I have to catch up on my reading... but I sure do hope you've posted this comment on your blog as well?

    Ethan, thank you! This comment was the highlight of that day!

    Derelict, maybe reverse psychology works...

    Thank you, Anonymous.

    Sorry about all the Canadian-bashing in these comments, Peefer. No one really meant it, I am sure! Canada is just the U.S. with cheaper pharmeceuticals and an ice hockey fetish. ;)

    By Blogger Jill, At Sat Aug 19, 12:17:00 PM 2006  

  • Oh, shoot, Wombat, I didn't even realize that I didn't reply to your comment. But it wasn't directed at me anyway. Hey, Wombat, what's up? How are you?

    By Blogger Jill, At Sat Aug 19, 05:45:00 PM 2006  

  • I have the mental image and if it was half as good in real life the boy is a total and utter fool.

    By Blogger Further on up the road, At Fri Aug 25, 08:02:00 AM 2006  

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