Dear Artistic Elitists

My writing, reading, viewing, and reviewing romantic comedies is NOT an indication of any inferior I.Q. standing on my part.

In fact, it is likely that if we went head to head in a testing situation, I would beat you. I hate to publicly quantify the probability of my victory because

1) I am not a boastful person
AND
2) I don't advocate intellectual elitism,

BUT
if that is the league you want to play in,
THEN
just to make sure we are playing in the same ballpark,

let's assume the probability* of my victory to be slightly higher than the numerical value of degrees in the name of the boy band of which Nick Lachey used to be a member. (Correction: the band members are just "taking a break"; the band has not "broken up".) I have official testing material from several independent agencies available for your perusal.

SO, A SUMMARY:

You are not smarter than I am, or than anyone else is, just because we may like comedies, but you feel that "real art" is only produced in warehouses no one can find by people who wear all black, chain-smoke clove cigarettes, and are concerned only with dramatizing/ proclaiming/ "poeticizing" their disenfranchisement and/or existential angst.

The phrase "lighten the fuck up" comes to mind.

Good day.

/end rant


*Technically, this percent probability would not be a direct correlation, because the test result percentiles relate to the population at large, whereas artistic elitists are a self-selecting group who more than likely fall or have been told that they fall in a higher percentile than the "average" person... but for other reasons, I don't believe the probability to be far off.