refrigerate until ready to use.

I am at home in the kitchen.
My ambitions range far beyond, and I am at home in environments many would not consider "homey", but these truths do not preclude my being at home in the room that, in the past half-century, has become emblematic of every horror perpetrated upon womanity over the previous two millennia.
I cook well, and often, though more often than not, rather messily. A good risotto needs to bless the range-top every now and again. My only reservation about cooking for the ones I love is that I wish my services not be received with the air of entitlement that has so often inspired my wrath at holilday get-togethers. (I am equally at home in debate.)
Yet this isn't the kitchen of my heart, for that lies thousands of miles from now or several years from here, give or take a you or a me or an us or a we.
Give or take a few truths that may never see the light that pops on every time the refrigerator door opens.
I was not alone when I took this picture, though that you cannot see.
I will not curse the camera for failing to capture my company. With or without photographic evidence,
on some days, I can stare at that door and see someday written all over it.
Labels: creative nonfiction, Longing may be elegant but it also hurts like hell


20 Comments:
i made a most delicious wild mushroom risotto last night as a a matter of fact.
but that's not what i wanted to say. what i wanted to say is that my camera often refuses to cooperate as well (as evidenced by the solitary picture i took during all of my tequilacon adventure), and it is a problem which i intend to rectify before the summer is out.
By
kat, At
5/31/2006 07:28:00 PM
oh yum!
though i do believe that your lack of photographing tequilacon had more to do with being understandably, utterly awed by the presence of my wicked (what else) awesomeness.
cuz it sure as hell wasn't because of that tequila-sunrise-paper-airplane-obsessed dork we were stuck hanging out with. unless you were avoiding creating evidence of having to associate with such a creature.
By
Jill, At
5/31/2006 08:11:00 PM
To use a tired old cliche, home is where the heart is. And what you are looking at today has not captured your heart yet.
In time, it may, someday... Or you may see a different light when you open that fridge.
By
ChickyBabe, At
5/31/2006 08:14:00 PM
Sometimes the kitchen of my heart is a pulsing discotheque and sometimes it is a music or art studio, sometimes it's my cell (like now). Mostly it's where we convene to hear the beat of our lives together. Shame I can't cook to save my life.
lovely read and picture
By
Elle, At
5/31/2006 08:15:00 PM
CB: I'm not sure that I was envisioning any light in particular when I wrote this, but I agree with you. This should perhaps be understood to refer to potential refrigerator lights everywhere.
Thanks, Elle!
By
Jill, At
5/31/2006 09:06:00 PM
yeah, that tequila guy was a total dork.
but he didn't stop ME from taking plenty of pictures. heh. NOW WHO'S WICKED AWESOME?
By
ducklet, At
5/31/2006 09:24:00 PM
i think it says something that the one picture i actually did take was of the two of us. so how's that for wicked awesomeness?
By
kat, At
5/31/2006 09:37:00 PM
ducky, your wicked awesomeness would be directly proportional to how glamorous those shots make me look.
kat, i was going to mention that but i didn't want the tequila dork gettin' all turned on by our self-photographing fabulosity.
By
Jill, At
5/31/2006 10:03:00 PM
Are you naked in that picture? MY EYES! MY EYES! haha
By
Megan, At
6/01/2006 01:13:00 AM
So was this post and the one about writing a new play Jill-speak for "I got some this weekend?"
By
Claven, At
6/01/2006 02:39:00 AM
*sigh*
So much beauty in the words that are unsaid...
By
Faltenin, At
6/01/2006 04:19:00 AM
I love the kitchen as well. And maybe I'm regressing womankind back a bunch of years for feeling that way, but so be it. Kitchens are comfy and warm and family. Plus, I just like to cook. I do like what you said about looking at the door and seeing someday. I do that too.
By
Amber, At
6/01/2006 09:01:00 AM
I think my favorite part of this post was the "give or take a you or a me or an us or a we." Leaves your life very open to the "come what may" of your future.
By
kapgar, At
6/01/2006 09:39:00 AM
Megan: Hell no! That's a champagne-colored shirt.
Claven: Uhhhhh... nope.
Faltenin: Yah, it's going to be accidental suicide by wistfulness one of these days.
Amber: I was thinking about regressing womankind as well, but feminism should also have a place for choosing to embrace some things that have been heretofore stereotypical. Love your kitchen all you want.
Kapgar: I'm practicing this new thing called forgiving myself. Let's see how it works out.
By
Jill, At
6/01/2006 10:43:00 AM
All I see is the darkened reflection of the ever attractive Jill, who it would seem is looking at the Henkels knives and contemplating using one of them with bad intentions. But that may just be a trick of the light.
By
lil'bitty, At
6/01/2006 10:45:00 AM
Gee thanks, Lil Bitty. I promise at that moment I was not contemplating using any of the knives maliciously.
By
Jill, At
6/01/2006 10:53:00 AM
And somedays we tell the world what we will not be doing instead of what we will - its more fun that way, right?
By
Sass, At
6/01/2006 01:36:00 PM
I just re-read my comment and realized I implied there was another Jill (crazed killer Jill) which was NOT what I was going for. Sometimes what sounds funny in my head is apparently only funny in my head. It was supposed to be a compliment to you and an admiration of the quality knife set that is an essential in any kitchen. . . . be it the Cleaver kitchen (no pun intended) or the sizzle lean kitchen (bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan and never ever let you forget I'm a wooo-ooo-oo-man)
By
lil'bitty, At
6/01/2006 03:44:00 PM
It sounds like you are thinking of that distant time today with a little longing, Jill. I'm sure we would all say please and thank you if graced with one your meals BTW.
By
Croaker, At
6/01/2006 05:27:00 PM
Excellent point, Sass. Now that I finally understand it. I had to reread that a few times before it sunk into my brain. ;)
There are many Jills as you are well aware, Lil Bitty, and though some of them might have a slight hostile streak, I've not yet discovered a Killer Jill. Though that's a good contender for my next play!
Longing, Croaker, one of my favorite themes. Once it's on the page, it's safely out of my brain so I don't have to long any longer over the longing.
By
Jill, At
6/01/2006 08:06:00 PM
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