Monday, February 27, 2006

Humanity check.

It is a picture of him. It is a picture of him and two girls. He is in the middle.

Here is what I read: The girl on the left is the alpha-chick of the clique. Tiny, pretty, perky, blond. She turns on the friendliness not only because he is fun to hang out with, but because her friend, the brunette on the right, is developing a crush on him.

It is the way she leans in toward him--the tilt of her head, the coyness of her smile, the angle of her glance. I have seen that girl; I have been that girl; I have been that girl's friend.

The brunette is cute, but not as confident as the blond. The brunette blossoms in her presence and she knows it. She loves her friend and is delighted to be the one that keeps him talking so that the brunette can swoon more closely. The blond is the one that suggests taking the photo, knowing he will put one arm around each of them, and knowing her friend will thank her for it.

Women do these things. Yes, I am admitting it. Even more blatantly than my brother's not-so-subtle confirmation that more men than just my blog-readers have had the discussion about a man staring at a woman until he emerges the victor. "So how's your blog?" "Oh, you should read the comments; all the guys are talking about how a woman looking away indicates a male victory." He smirks. He looks down. He laughs. He speaks no more to me or his future wife.

I admit that we women do these things. It is the reason I know that the blond is also responsible for taking the picture of his ass. For her friend to have. I imagine the discussion that precedes the snapshot. Or perhaps it is just an exchange of glances. Either way, part of the plan. The photo isn't what it might appear to be--a badly framed shot of the action from an unfortunate angle. The rest of her shots are above-average amateur work; she understands focus, framing, composition. It is the perfect angle for the subject she intends. Get a picture of his ass.

Telepathically, I thank the blond for being sympathetic to her friend's crush. He has a fantastic ass. But more so, I am grateful for the picture of the three of them. Because--truth be told--he looks kinda crappy in the photo. He is human. It is a reminder that I need.

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posted by Jill at 12:25 AM

20 Comments:

  • Very perceptive, Jill. I detect a hint of jealousy but also an ability to identify with the girls in the photo.

    I question why you need a reminder that he is human. Is he larger than life t you? And I don't mean his ass! (sorry... couldn't resist that one!)

    By Blogger ChickyBabe, At Mon Feb 27, 05:16:00 AM 2006  

  • I am positive I am not the only person who relates to this photo. I am the brunette, literally and figuratively. I am thankful for the blondes in my life.

    By Blogger Cheryl, At Mon Feb 27, 10:26:00 AM 2006  

  • Wow. I thought I knew where this was going... I had lived through meeting men I was interested in in the company of a blonde friend. Did not expect that she was helping her friend... fully expected the steal.

    An experience between female friends that I have no experience with. Help, support. Thank you.

    By Blogger Debra, At Mon Feb 27, 10:32:00 AM 2006  

  • I'm surprised that the brunette can see that he is human. Don't crushes usually preclude that?

    Or perhaps she's looking at an older picture, and she can see better, now that she's kind-of-but-not-totally moved on.

    By Anonymous peefer, At Mon Feb 27, 10:34:00 AM 2006  

  • Those are the kind of friends you need to have -- the ones who not only take stealth pictures of his nice ass, but who also capture his humanity to counteract the rose colored glasses of a crush.

    By Blogger Amber, At Mon Feb 27, 10:49:00 AM 2006  

  • Geee.
    I don't ever remember doing something like that for a friend. Sure I've talked a buddy up or ran interference so that he could raise his game, but I've never taken a stealth picture of a girls rack or ass.

    I have been the guy to get the ball rolling. The wingman that talks to the nottie while mi amigo is chatting up the hottie. It's never been a hardship for me, talking is something I'd wind up doing anyway.

    But what I will admit to seeing that nod between females. That unspoken communication that us males will never have a decoder ring to decipher. I've seen it, been facinated by it and ultimately have given up as a secret of the universe.

    By Blogger trueborn, At Mon Feb 27, 01:30:00 PM 2006  

  • That connection exists between women because we will and do share our feelings with other women. Men do not do that very often. The additional connection of shared emotions is what enables women to foresee and anticipate what the friend needs and wants and the true friend tries to help. That exists between men only on the rare occasion of them opening up to one another and trusting that your secrets are safe. Men gotta be all macho and stuff, women don't. Just my infant take on the whole thing.

    By Blogger lil'bitty, At Mon Feb 27, 01:43:00 PM 2006  

  • CB:: Larger than life? Nah. His ass is perfect. You are right on the hint of jealousy, but only so far as they are in the picture. There isn't any more substantial reason for jealousy. As to why the reminder helps: sometimes, when in the midst of a situation, it is good to take a step back and realize you are not the only human being involved. He's just a person, too, just as likely to be nervous or intimidated or confused. And perhaps more likely to have performance anxiety. ;)

    Cheryl, though I have never literally been a blond, I have been both the brunette and the blond figuratively. I am more often the blond, and I usually prefer it that way. Then no "humanity checks" are necessary.

    Debra, I'm so sorry to hear that. You've had all the wrong girlfriends!

    Peefer, I'm not sure that the brunette in the picture actually sees him as human. But this brunette sure does. Now. Thanks to the other one.

    Amber: Amen. And it's also useful to have the friends that say "Yep, keep looking at that shitty picture."

    Trueborn, unfortuntaely for men, it's probably a bit more acceptable for girls to objectify male body parts in this way. There is a double standard, and in this case, I know that if it was a man that wrote what I wrote about a picture of a woman's whatever, there would be a totally different discussion in the comments.

    Insightful, as always, Lil Bitty. A woman is often much more clued in about her friend's emotions regarding a particular guy than a man would be about his male friend's feelings. Or at least, that's what I've observed.

    By Blogger Jill, At Mon Feb 27, 02:12:00 PM 2006  

  • Do women really do this? I don't think anyone has ever taken a picture of my ass....for good reason!

    By Blogger toadman, At Mon Feb 27, 02:46:00 PM 2006  

  • yes, women do things like this. at least the ones i've known!

    By Blogger Jill, At Mon Feb 27, 07:24:00 PM 2006  

  • I'm not confessing anything, but I have heard of men who sneak stealth pictures of women's, er, parts. I mean, someone told me about that once.

    Of course, when men do it we're perverts who are liable to be sued for harrassment, while the blonde can get away with anything she likes. Sigh.

    By Blogger The Chronic Curmudgeon, At Mon Feb 27, 07:50:00 PM 2006  

  • CC, give me some points for admitting to the double standard! Didn't I sound oh-so-contrite about it?

    By Blogger Jill, At Mon Feb 27, 07:52:00 PM 2006  

  • you girls are crazy

    By Blogger at the Lake, At Mon Feb 27, 07:56:00 PM 2006  

  • More confusing than peace in the middle east. . .

    By Blogger Popeye, At Mon Feb 27, 08:23:00 PM 2006  

  • Sure we are, At the Lake. And men are absolutely sane.

    My post, or women in general, Popeye? ...because if there's something I could clarify for you, do let me know.

    By Blogger Jill, At Mon Feb 27, 08:32:00 PM 2006  

  • Interesting post, as always, Jill.
    Here's the thing... I've never known guys to collaborate on the conquest of a woman. I, in fact, was, at one time, considered quite the master of the infamous "Cock Block". I was never too good at getting my own dates, but I sure could ruin someone elses chances in a big hurry! I wish my talents took other forms.

    Oh, nice to know about that double-standard, too. Now, if I could just get a sweet gal to treat me like a piece of meat...

    By Anonymous Network Geek, At Mon Feb 27, 11:17:00 PM 2006  

  • Why would you want to do that to your friends? That's terrible.

    Collaboration can really aid in a successful conquest. And an excellent pair of strappy heels works as well.

    By Blogger Jill, At Tue Feb 28, 10:08:00 AM 2006  

  • Pssst!

    As a member of the Secret Sorority of Ass Photographers, I have a picture of Toadman's ass. Anyone wishing to see it, please email me privately.

    By Blogger cupcakegrrl, At Tue Feb 28, 01:58:00 PM 2006  

  • you guys are crazy

    By Blogger at the Lake, At Tue Feb 28, 04:35:00 PM 2006  

  • Cupcake, photographs of any of my male readers' behinds would be greatly appreciated. You know where to find me.

    At the Lake--did we just get downgraded from "girls" to "guys"? ;)

    By Blogger Jill, At Tue Feb 28, 06:27:00 PM 2006  

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