A New (Geek) Hope

Here's to hoping that Batman Begins turns out to be the Batman movie we've all been wishing for...for the past few decades. And maybe it'll teach George Lucas how to write a f*%&ing backstory. Here are some selected excerpts from Revenge of the Sith-related conversations I've had over the past few weeks. I won't attribute the speakers to protect the wrathful--and the gullible (though if any of you want to take credit in the comments, go right ahead.)

"Hayden Christiansen is a good actor! Just not here."

"Did you actually expect Lucas to let them act?"

"Did you get the feeling that Ewan McGregor was thinking 'Well, ok, if you really want me to pay me to say this crap...'?"

"This could have been a truly great film--if Lawrence Kasdan had written it."

"What's up with Palpatine being possessed by the voice of Frank Oz? Did you hear that voice when he was battling Mace? Is he a muppet?"

"'Ani, I'm pregnant'...? She's going to give birth to twin saviors for f*&%'s sake--could you be a little more innovative with the dialogue?"

"Any woman with curls like that would never brush them."

"Um...this is George Lucas writing love scenes. What exactly were you expecting?"

"I was really hoping that there wouldn't be any gratuitous animated creatures. It was like Obi-Wan in The Land of the Lost."

"Speaking of gratuitous--alien cleavage on the steps of the Senate?"

"Didn't you want an actual turning point for Anakin? Like some guilt, some 'what have I done' after Mace gets killed? Nope, instead he's like, 'Ok, that's done. Now I guess I'll go kill some baby Jedis.'"

"Nooooooo!" (About the movie.)

"'Nooooooo!'" (Quoting the movie.)

"He's kidding, right? Did James Earl Jones actually consent to that?"

And that Frankenstein shot...didn't they use something like that in one of the Toy Story's? Buzz Lightyear? Kinda appropriate, no?"


Ok, so I couldn't bring myself to include any quotes from the gullible. I admit that I do know some people who actually loooooved the film, but they're a bit biased. Something about having a life size Han Solo in carbonite in your living room--it really messes with your critical thinking skills.